Merry Christmas, Castiel
by Sarlyne
Summary: Sam invites Castiel to spent Christmas evening with the Winchesters. Trouble starts when Cas finds himself and Dean under a mistletoe.   Dean/Castiel, Hints of Sam/Gabriel
1. White is in the Winter Night

**Summary**: Sam invites Castiel to spent Christmas evening with the Winchesters. Trouble starts when Cas finds himself and Dean under a mistletoe.

**Warnings**: Fluff

**Rating**: None

**Pairings**: Dean/Castiel, Sam/Gabriel (hints)

**Important**: UnBeta'd!

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><p><strong>Part One:<strong> White is in the Winter Night

It was the night before Christmas,with a solemn silence in the star sprankled sky, the smell of pudding and turkey in the streets and the warm candlelights shining through the all the soft blanket of white, as if a mother had covered her child to sleep and the twinkling stars above sang their lullaby.

In a night like this nobody was lonely- nobody should be lonely. Lonely were only the streets in the small town, were only the rooftops and was the silent silhouette of a angel-like statue on one of the roofs, unmoving and getting more and more buried under the snow…

Sam, a glass of whiskey in one hand, looked for the 4th or 5th time this evening through the window curtains to the angel figure on the house on the other side of the street

"We should bring him in", he said. "Can Angels get a cold?"

Dean, a _bottle_ of whiskey in one hand, only snorted. "If he'd want to come, he would! But I don't want to share couch and TV with a nerdy angel tonight!"

"You are only pissed, because he broke the window of the Impala!"

"Yeah, I am! And that's a damn good reason to be mad!", Dean growled. "Leave him alone, Sammy! He is so often alone, one night more or not doesn't make a difference!"

But Sam watched the snowflakes falling down. The beautiful they looked like, they also were so very cold. He took his jacket.

"I bring him back!"

* * *

><p>Castiel's eyes trailed over the little town at the border to Canada. The night before Christmas, really some solemn hours. It was at times like this when he felt all the glory that lay over the world loving created by God, with all the small mistakes, but also joy.<p>

T_ranscending thought, the works eternal,_

_are fair as on the primal day._

_With speed, thought baffling, unabating,_

_Earth's splendour whirls in circling flight;_

_Its Eden-brightness alternating,_

_with solemn, awe-inspiring night;_

_Lord, Thy servants are revering_

_the mild procession of thy day._

_Thine aspect to the powers supernal,_

_gives strength, though fathom thee none may;_

_And all they works, sublime, eternal,_

_are fair as on the primal day._*

With a sigh Castiel closed the blue eyes. Such a beautiful night, tonight.

"Hey!"

A loud voice broke through the solemn silence and the angel looked down to the street, where a man moved to the house, on which's roof he was sitting on, enjoying the night.

"Castiel!"

It was Sam. Stepping through the snow, hands in the pockets of his jeans. Castiel wondered if he wasn't cold.

"Don't you want to come in? It's warmer and", Sam searched for the right words in order not to hurt the angel. He was standing under the roof and looked up to him. "…less lonely."

"I am not lonely", was all Castiel answered and looked again up into the stars.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Oh, sure." Silence. "So, are you coming?"

"I'll think about it."

"Oooookay", Sam sighed. It didn't seem Castiel was very enthusiastic, but that might only be, because he was afraid to see Dean after he broke the Impala. But it had been an accident, and all three knew it, although Dean was still angry. However, it wasn't easy for an angel to aim for the backseat, when he was slightly drunk. "Dean says he'd like to have you with us. And same with me." Sam managed somehow to lie straight without becoming red.

"I broke Dean's car", Castiel reminded him.

"It's just a car!" Dean would kill him if he ever heard that sentence, Sam was sure about it. "Come on, Castiel! Nobody should be alone on Christmas eve!"

"I am not-", started Castiel.

"Yeah, maybe you're talking to your superior or Gabriel right now, but they are in Heaven and you are on Earth! And your friends on Earth want to spend some time with you, too! Or do at least Jimmy's body favour before he freezes!" Another silence, but Castiel frowned and sighed then.

"Alright, I'm coming!"

Sam smiled. "Cool! Did you ever celebrate Christmas on Earth? Except for about 2000 years?"

Castiel landed beneath Sam and they walked together to the house on the other side of the street.

"No. The first time."

"Ah, you'll love it!", Sam laughed. "Not much about presents this year, but at least a bit Christmas feeling! Tree, glitter, ice cream, mistletoes-"

"Do you eat mistletoes?"

Sam stopped and turned around. "Eat? No, that's ehrm… It's tradition on Christmas, but we hang them up only just for fun! As if we- no, certainly not!", he laughed. "But Dean always mocks me and says I hang them up, because I hope that a blonde beauty will appear."

"I… still don't get it", answered Castiel, lay his head on the side and frowned. "What about mistletoes? You hang them up and…?"

Sam scratched his head. "Tradition on Christmas is that you have to kiss the person you stand with under a mistletoe. You know, Christmas is all about love and peace…"

"Aha." Castiel still seemed a bit confused.

"Oh, I forgot my key", Sam remarked. "Well, Dean will have to open!" He rang the bell and after a few seconds they heard footsteps behind the door.

"Yeah?", Dean said unfriendly as he opened the door. There was a deadly silence between the three men. After a few moments Sam went in, threw his jacket on the steps and said: "I brought him back, I warned you!"

"Yeah…" His brother looked dark at the Angel, who stood in the door.

Castiel felt Dean's eyes and it was very uncomfortable, so he tried to look anywhere else.

Dean growled.

"Cas, do you want to come in or what?"

But the angel didn't respond. Biting his lip, he looked to Dean, then up and to Dean again, who was obviously annoyed.

Sam followed Castiel's eyes and immediately figured out what was going to happen.

Oops.

The mistletoe.

_Oops!_

And Dean didn't.

"Hoo-hoo, Cas, are you dreaming?" His brother waved his hand in front of Castiel's eyes in order to make him show any emotion.

Mistletoe and Castiel.

Not good.

_Definitely_ not good!

This could become a massacre…

"Ehrr, Castiel, I really think you shouldn't-", started Sam, but it was too late.

_Dean_, thought Castiel when he pressed his lips carefully on Dean's, _tastes very swee_t. _Like…_ not exactly like milk and honey, but it gave him the same warm, comfortable feeling and made his -better Jimmy's- heart jump. It was hard to describe what _exactly_ Dean's lips tasted like, but good. Maybe it was a really bad comparison, but not even burgers had ever made him that happy.

After a few seconds Castiel thought if it wasn't a bit odd that Dean wasn't doing something. He just stood in front of him, mouth half open and gasping for air. Castiel thought that the people on Dean's laptop always had their hands somewhere when kissing, but he didn't feel like ripping Dean's clothes off, so he did as with Meg and let his hands go through Dean's hair.

Sam the while looked at the scene with the mouth half open and not sure if he should say something or better run as far away as possible, before Castiel let Dean go- it had been him, who told the angel about mistletoes and Dean didn't look as if he would ever forgive him if he found out. The awkward the whole thing looked like, the …cute it was, too, he couldn't deny it. Dean had never looked this helpless and Castiel never that shy and passionate at the same time. He thought if he could make a photo without Dean recognizing it, but he would die if he ever found it. At the same moment, the kiss ended with a moan from Castiel Sam wasn't sure what it was for.

Castiel took one step back and opened the eyes. Dean was still standing in the door and looked as if Castiel had slapped him, heavy out of breath.

"Was it… alright?", asked Castiel carefully.

"Alri- What?" Dean's face was half confused, half shocked and his voice trembling.

Castiel moved uncomfortable from one side to another. It didn't look as if Dean had enjoyed the tradition. Maybe because he, Castiel, was a bad kisser? But Heaven, he had never had the occasion to kiss anyone! Now that Castiel thought about it, it seemed pretty awkward- he was over 2000 years old; human beings sometimes even started kissing when they were 15! Well, Meg had kissed him, but that didn't count, because she started and he just responded, because that was what the pizza man had done, not because he liked it!

Dean's voice brought him back from his thoughts.

"What… WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?" He didn't look confused anymore, but really, really angry.

"Sam told me about mistletoes and I thought…" Castiel looked helpless at Sam, who tiptoed silently into the living room. Dean whirled around and growled: "Sam! What the hell did you tell him?"

"How should I know that he would do that!", Sam protested.

Castiel's face became the expression of a little puppy that had accidently bitten his master and now regretted it. "I-I thought…", he began. "Do you want to try again?"

"Exccuse me?", shouted Dean.

"If you tell me, what I have to do, I'm sure I can do better!"

Sam spilled out the orange juice he was about to drink and laughed. Dean glared at him with a deadly sparkling in his eyes. Then he turned around and came so close to Castiel, that the angel reached one hand out for his neck, awaiting to kiss him again, but Dean took his hand and pressed him against the wall.

"No!"

Castiel tilted his head. "?"

"Not again!" Dean shook grimly his head. "No, Cas! You won't _kiss_ me! Okay?"

Castiel, although still not understanding, what Dean's problem was, nodded slowly.

Dean looked still suspicious, but let him go. "Never ever, you understand me?"

"Uhm, okay… Why?", Castiel added questioning.

"Because- You can't just come and kiss me!"

"But that's the tradition, Sam told me!", replied Castiel. "Why do you have a mistletoe, when you don't use it?"

Behind them, they heard Sam still giggling.

"Oh, shut up, you troll!", Dean shouted angry at his brother. "That's all your fault!"

Then he turned again to Castiel. "Listen, Cas! Even if we are friends, you… you don't kiss friends!"

"Meg kissed me and she isn't my friend!", protested the angel. "Do you only kiss your enemies?"

Dean face palmed his head and rolled his eyes. "Meg is a- Oh, shut the hell up, Cas! Of course you do inot/i kiss your enemies! You kiss your girlfriend, but not ordinary friends! You don't kiss me! Sam doesn't kiss Bobby, alright!"

Ah, that was the problem! Castiel looked at Sam. "He didn't tell me that!"

"Yeah, he… Whatever!", Dean sighed. "Sam can be a donkey sometimes." He winked at the angel. "Come in and make yourself comfortable!"

Castiel followed the older Winchester slowly in the living room. Half he expected him to throw him out of the house the next second. Was he already over the broken Impala? Or was he just too confused after the kiss?

Immediately Castiel stood still. _Kiss?_ Now he first recognized that he had _kissed_ Dean. Why? Because of the mistletoe. Ah, yes, of course! But why did he like it so much? Because Dean was his friend. But Sam was also his friend. Would he have kissed Sam? Castiel hesitated. He wasn't sure about it, but Dean seemed to be the better choice. No, he thought, he wouldn't have kissed Sam. But why? Why Dean and not Sam? Why, why, why?

With a discombobulated expression on the face the confused angel sat down on the carpet, beneath the Christmas tree, feeling awkward and very small.

The night was going to be very long…

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><p><em>*Quoted from: "Faust I" by J.W. von Goethe (Scene: "Prologue in Heaven", the Archangels)<em>

I know, it's not winter at the moment, but hey...! 8D

I love Winter theme's! 3

**-Comments and Constructive Critic are highly appreciated!-**


	2. Team Free Will

**Part Two:** _Team Free Will_

"Dean, where are the angels?"

"Apart from the one sitting on our sofa you mean?"

"Haha…! No, I mean the little porcelain angels I bought for the tree!"

"Oh, did _Mr Perfect_ loose his pretty angels?"

"Jerk!"

"Bitch!"

Sam stuck his tongue out and vanished to search somewhere else for the Christmas decoration, leaving a with tinsel fighting Dean behind.

Geez, those glitter things were so annoying! But what weren't you doing for your little brother and a bit Christmas feeling, when you were stuck somewhere in the nowhere. Further, it was the first time after the "Hell-vs.-Heaven-and-we-will-all-die" period was over and the first time since years that they didn't spend Christmas in a motel.

"Shall I help you decorating?"

"Woah!" Dean jumped up by the sudden voice beside him, burned his hand in a candle and started cursing. "Damn it, Cas! Stop doing that!"

"I'm sorry."

"You better are! Shit, my hand!"

Castiel reached out to heal Dean's hand with a touch of his fingers, but Dean immediately pulled back.

"I'm alright!"

"Your hand is-"

"I'm alright, Cas!", he shouted. Now it was Castiel, who jumped in surprise by the angry tone in Dean's voice, and a hurt look covered his face. Dean realized it a second later and the angry mask on his face vanished for an apologetic.

"I'm sorry", he said. "I didn't mean to shout at you. It's just…" _You kissed me._

It was as simple as that- or complicated.

"Sammy is walking on my nerves with this Christmas stuff and I, uhm… Christmas is always busy, not your fault." Dean tried to smile, but it felt awkward.

Castiel tilted his head like he did so often, when he wasn't sure about something- especially about something that humans explained him.

"So, you are not angry about me, for", he started.

Dean closed his eyes and shouted a silent prayer to… wherever. _Don't ask for the kiss! Simply don't, I'm not prepared to speak about this now! No kiss, no mistletoe, no-_

"…breaking your Impala?"

"Huh?" Dean opened one eye and found Castiel starring at him with the same intense look as ever. "Uh, the Impala? No, that is… alright. I mean, one window is nothing compared to…" _a kiss._

Castiel frowned, but didn't ask, although he didn't seem to be content with the answer. "Good."

They stood like this for a few moments in uncomfortable silence- Castiel starring at Dean with his blue eyes, and Dean still with tings in the hands and a slightly frightened expression.

"Everything alright?", he squeaked, when Castiel didn't seem to stop starring at him. God, was there another mistletoe?

But the angel only blinked, as if he just woke up from a daydream. "What?", he asked. " Yes, I… was only… thinking." Concerning from the look on his face when he said that, Dean was pretty sure, what Castiel had been thinking about. But better not mention it.

"Ah." A stupid answer.

Castiel blushed slightly and pointed at the Christmas balls on the table. "Sam asked me to help you with it. Said it would be good for… the right mood."

Silently Dean cursed his brother. The _right mood_! Oh, just wait, Sammy! I'll give you the right mood!

"Yeah, well, okay then. Just hang them on the branches, but be careful with the candles!" Castiel did as told and for the next minutes they decorated the tree in silence.

The angel sensed Dean felt uncomfortable and he wasn't sure himself how to handle the situation without disappointing the hunter even more. Although Dean said nothing –or perhaps because he said nothing- he was clearly avoiding Castiel's presence as much as it was possible, when you are decorating a tree together in a lonely room. So it happened that Castiel moved around the tree to decorate the other half; in this way they were as far as possible away from each other and weren't in each other's way while hanging Christmas stuff up. Dean's reaction when Castiel had intended to heal his hand had shown him clearly that the hunter wasn't too comfortable with Castiel close around. Silently Castiel wondered if it had something to do with the fact that he had "invaded" Dean's "holy" personal space by kissing him. But they had been close before without Dean complaining. So, maybe it was… the kiss itself…?

The angel shot a quick glance at the other man. Dean seemed still to be a bit upset and Castiel as well felt… well, awkward. When Sam had explained the mistletoe thing it had all made sense, but since Dean's angry reaction, he felt terrible stupid. Not only that he should have known by now that Dean liked to kiss women, but also that he still didn't know why he felt now so nervous. It was more than hurt that his best friend –because that was what Castiel thought Dean and Sam were to him, Dean maybe even a bit more than Sam- had looked at him as if the angel was mad. Living with human beings didn't make you one, but he had expected that he would understand their behaviour sooner; at least the most important of it. However, it seemed he failed.

-_I need your help, because you are the only one, who will help me!_

_- So, what, I'm Thelma and you're Louise, and we're just gonna hold hands and sail off this cliff together?_

_-I'm hunted, I rebelled and I did it all of it for you!_

_-Oh, Cas, not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that… I got laid!_

_-Dean and I do share a more profound bond now! …I wasn't going to mention it!_

_-Don't ever change!_

Castiel found himself smiling at the memory of those and many other moments. Like Dean had said it once, they were "Team Free Will". They had been through so much together and so it was not unusual that after all he liked Dean; and wasn't this was a kiss was for? Showing someone that you… liked the person? And to be really niggling: love was just a more intense way of "liking"-

The Christmas ball felt out of Castiel's hand and he caught it in the very last moment before it hit the ground. His heart was booming in his chest and Castiel was sure his face was tomato red.

Lo-? No way!

Oh, why couldn't he just still be sitting on the lonely rooftop?

_Thump!_

Both Dean and Castiel looked up at the same moment, rising questioning an eyebrow at the sound.

_Thump!_ Again.

"What the hell?", Dean started and went around the Christmas tree to look out of the window. Snow dropped slowly from the glass.

"Is this… a snowball?", Castiel asked slowly and totally forgot that he had just sworn not to speak to Dean for the rest of the evening.

He had seen some children throwing snowballs at each other before, but he couldn't figure out the sense of being covered with snow.

"Looks like it", Dean answered and opened the window to look out for the responsible. "If this is a joke, just stop it and-"

Thump! Before he could finish the sentence, another snowball covered his mouth. "Damn you!", Dean shouted angrily. "Which idiot-"

Laughter broke his swearing and Castiel looked frowning out for whoever it was.

At the same moment they heard Sam coming down the steps into the living room. He held a new looking box in his hands- apparently he had found the angels.

"Anything happened? I heard noise."

Dean smirked and pointed out of the window. "You will like it, Sammy!"

Surprised Sam went over to his brother and Castiel. "What is there? Santa Claus-"

"After all what I did for you, you don't invite me? Especially when you have cake and Christmas pudding?"

Sam's face immediately lightened up by the familiar sound of the voice from outside.

"Gabriel!"

From a branch of a tree the Archangel waved amused to the three men at the window.

"Hey, kids!"

It didn't take them longer than three minutes to get dressed and run out of the house and on the field behind it, snow flying around their feet. Castiel, however, was of course the first. He zapped directly in front of Gabriel, who was standing under the tree now, before Dean or Sam had even put their shoes on.

"Hey, little brother!" Gabriel patted friendly on the younger angel's shoulder. "We're missing you up there. But of course", he added with a smile full of mischief. "you've got much better things to do down here."

Castiel frowned in not understanding, when Gabriel blinked at him.

"I do not understand, what you mean!"

"Yes, I know that."

"But that is what I owe Sam and Dean. They helped me, they helped us and I was more than once wrong concerning their destiny. If I can offer them my support, I am more than willing to help my…"

"Friends?", Gabriel asked and Castiel nodded. "Friendship is something wonderful, Castiel. Keep it up."

It was a strange situation, for Gabriel's eyes glanced in a way Castiel wasn't sure what it was supposed to mean. As if his brother knew something that was hidden to him, although Gabriel had been in Heaven the last half year –so basically the whole time since he had been brought back- and Castiel had been with the Winchester brothers. Gabriel's hand squeezed friendly his shoulder and then he turned around, before Castiel could ask for an explanation.

"Hello, boys! –Oi!" Just in the last moment Gabriel stepped aside to avoid the collision with a snowball.

"That is the revenge for my face!", Dean growled. "Just wait, Gabe! No one hits Dean Winchester with a snowball!"

"I'm sorry, I must have mistaken your beautiful face for a cheesy Christmas decoration!"

Another snowball followed Gabriel's words, but again he was too fast.

"You gotta learn aiming first, Dean! But actually you've no chance against an Archan-" The rest of his sentence was left unspoken due to a handful of snow that covered his face from behind. Gabriel spied the snow out and whirled around.

"Castiel?"

Castiel looked from his hand to Gabriel's startled face and smiled in view of the surprised expressions on the faces of the three men in front of him.

"That was fun!"


	3. Snow Angels

**Part Three:** Snow Angels

One minute later the four were involved in a heavy snowball fight and twenty minutes later Dean was lying on the ground, gasping for air and hair all wet, but laughing.

"Oh, geez! This is the weirdest Christmas I've ever had!"

Sam tried to throw a last snowball at his brother, but he, too, was too exhausted. "You look like an yeti", he laughed.

"I don't know why you all want to lie on the cold ground", Gabriel said. "but I could need a cake now!"

"Yeah, get fat, shorty!", Dean murmured. "I keep lying here and play snow angel."

"What is a-", Castiel started, but was interrupted by Sam.

"Don't think we'll leave something for you, Dean!"

"I don't care, Sammy."

"What about you, Castiel?"

"I am not hungry."

Gabriel's face immediately lightened up. "Which means Sammy and I will have a nice evening together, with Christmas tree, fireplace and cake while you prefer the cold snow? I shall not mind then!" He laid teasingly an arm around Sam's shoulder.

"Hey! Hands off my brother, Archangel!", Dean growled and Sam blushed and turned his head away, although the angel had only be joking.

Gabriel smirked only and threw a quick glance at Castiel.

"Maybe it's me who should say that?"

Dean frowned, but didn't reply.

"Whatever, we are inside! Oh, cake~ 3"

Castiel watched Gabriel and Sam walking back to the house and wasn't quite sure what to do. On the one hand he felt the urgent need to follow them to avoid any privacy with Dean, on the other hand he didn't think it was right to leave him alone in the snow.

He decided to keep just lying on the ground and wait until something happened.

"What is it, Cas?"

"Huh?"

"You're starring." Dean sighed, but didn't look at him. His eyes were still closed, arm stretched out to his sides. If Castiel reached out his hand, he could touch Dean's fingers; but there was no need for that.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop being sorry for everything!"

"Sorry."

"_Cas!_"

It seemed it was destiny that he was totally messing up this evening. Great.

After a few minutes of silence –during which Castiel was only watching the snowflakes falling slowly down through the stars and felt the little drops of water when they melted on his skin- he asked quietly (for not to disturb the beautiful world surrounding them):"Dean?"

"Hm?"

Dean sounded sleepy, but was still awake. Castiel hesitated, but now it was too late to pull back. The snowball fight had been a lot of fun and the laughter and fooling around had made him think if they couldn't continue just like that- during the game there had been no wall between him and Dean, maybe Dean was over it? Even without saying it, it could be possible that he would speak with Castiel like before again. As if he had never tried to kiss him. They would continue to be friends like before, never mentioning the stupid mistletoe again and just pretending nothing ever happened.

But did he want that? To be truthful, yes, it was exactly was Castiel wanted. But it was hard to ignore the fact that Dean had acted rather cold, because of a stupid misunderstanding. And what exactly the reason for his own strange feelings was Castiel still hadn't figured out yet. Not completely...

"Cas?"

"Yes?"

"You wanted to ask me something or what?"

Uuh, it didn't sound as if Dean was over it.

"I was wondering... uhm, what... What is a snow angel?"

Dean blinked and turned his head to look at the – unsnow-y – angel beside him. Concerning from the surprised expression on his face this had been the last question he had thought of.

"Snow angels?"

"Yes, you said to Sam that you will just "keep lying here and play snow angel". I don't understand what that means." To be honest to himself, Castiel _really_ didn't know what it meant. It was sure one of those things only human beings could really understand. Maybe he hadn't asked what he had intended to, but at least it was not an abrupt start for a conversation. Dean, however, seemed to think the same.

"It is a children's game", he explained. "You lie down in the snow and move your arms..." He did. "And then it looks as if you have wings. Like an angle."

"But this doesn't look like wings!", Castiel protested and lifted himself on his arms up from the snow. "They are too round and far too small!"

"Geez, Cas! It's a children's game! And nobody cares, because everyone knows what it is supposed to mean!"

"I don't understand why you have to make it so difficult, though." Castiel rolled back on his back and after a sudden flash of light, something soft and feathery brushed over Dean's hair. "That's what real wings do look like!"

The elder Winchester sat up and looked at the _real_ wings of Castiel which were even of a brighter white than the surrounding snow.

"They are... not black anymore?"

"No", Castiel answered. "After I died and came back the last time I got a new pair of wings."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

Fascinated by the view of the big white feathers, Dean reached out to touch them carefully.

"May I?"

Castiel hesitated, but answered: "Yes, but be-" But Dean was already striking with one hand over the new wings, causing him to take a sharp breath for air and Dean immediately pulled back.

"God, Cas! Are you alright?", he asked, an alarmed tone in his voice. Castiel had been travelling and fighting with the Winchesters for a long time, nevertheless Dean had seen his wings only one time and had no idea how to handle them.

"They are just... very sensitive~" Castiel's voice became more quiet until it was nothing more than a whisper. "You can touch them, it was my fault; I wasn't prepared."

Doubtful, but still curious Dean slowly touched the feathers again and a smile appeared on the angel's face. "That's nice...!"

"Cas, if you start meowing now, you look exactly like a cat!"

"I like cats...!"

"I like your wings. –I mean", Dean added, when Castiel looked up. "They are really nice, and very practical. They disappear when you don't need them and if you have a long way, I would guess they are much faster than any car or train!"

"Yes, that's right."

He continued to strike Castiel's wings a bit longer and for the third time this evening both of them remained silent.

"Cas? Are you- I have to ask you something and all I want is a honest answer, despite what you think I might think of it, okay?"

"I try." Dean wasn't sure if Castiel had heard him right. The angel still had this dreamy smile on his face. Heaven, these wings had to be _very_ sensitive! But well, no need to shut this conversation down. So he asked: "Why didn't you go back to Heaven?"

Castiel needed a few moments to answer, but it didn't seem because he was thinking about the answer, but because he was relaxing under Dean's hands striking his wings- at least this was what Dean thought concerning from the dreamy expression on the angel's face.

"Because I want to help you and Sam...!"

Dean made a face that pretty much said: _Bitch, please! There has to be more!_, but since Castiel's eyes were closed he didn't remark it.

"You have to like us pretty much then, for keep your family waiting."

"Oh, yes, I do!", Castiel's answer came quick and with a smile on his face.

"Ah, really?"

As soon as he heard the sarcastic tone in Dean's voice, Castiel froze.

Oh, damn! Now it was so clear which direction this conversation was going to take- and it had been Dean's intention! He sat up and let his wings disappear with a _Flap!_. He _himself_ wanted to disappear right now, but he was too afraid of what might happen then when he saw the hunter the next time.

There was no real way out of this mess.

However, Castiel didn't dare to look directly in Dean's eyes. He _knew_ it! Or at least suspected it. He cursed himself for having that less self-control when it came to his wings; that the other angels had the same problem didn't really help right now.

Dean's expression was still saying -_Will you say it me or do I have to Molotov you with Holy Fire?_

Castiel swallowed. "I… You are my friends."

"Oh well, that's nice", Dean answered, but the tone in his voice made clear he wouldn't let him go away with this answer. "See, Cas", he continued. "somehow I can't really believe this! Because sometimes…" Dean stood up and sat down right in front of Cas and tried to look him in the eyes. "Am I right when I say that you like me more than Sam?"

With a hot feeling on his cheeks the angel turned his head away. "You're both my friends", was the answer he gave the hunter.

"Hell, Cas!", Dean shouted angry. "What I am asking is if you are in love with me or not!"

Castiel winced, but didn't reply.

"Should I interpret your silence as a "Yes"?"

"No…" The answer was really quiet.

Dean clapped his hands. "So, you are not? Then you could just tell me!"

The angel moved uncomfortably. "Stop this, it's not… of importance!", he whispered.

Dean looked unbelieving at the black haired man in front of him and wondered whether he had understood right or not.

"Not of-" Excuse me? "Not of importance? Did I hear that right? Cas, I think it is damn much of importance if somebody is in love with me or not! Because it's also my life, you know!"

"I never said that I am in love with you-", Castiel whispered. A bad excuse, since both men knew that some things don't have to be said out loud to be true.

"No", Dean agreed. "but the more I think about it I realize that you behaved quite often like a shy teenager!

And you never said you weren't, either", he added.

Castiel still didn't look at him and remained silent. Dean knew that it was a pretty awkward and uncomfortable situation for the angel and he felt bad for putting him in this, but DAMN! Castiel's behaviour wasn't helping, either, and before he had to live his whole life not knowing if his winged friend was gay for him or not-

Dean frowned. Wait a sec! Was Castiel even male? Now that he thought about it he couldn't say he was sure. He had always taken it for the truth, since Castiel had a male vessel. And Anna had totally behaved like a normal woman, too. Imagining Cas with a female body was…amusing. He grinned. Or were angels "just angels", without any gender? He recognized his thoughts were drifting away and sighed frustrated; God, not the right moment to think about it!

When he looked at the certain angel again, Castiel still sat on the ground, not moving an inch. Dean crossed his arms. "I'm waiting."

"For what?"

Dumb, stupid, dense, retarded, nerdy angel! Dean rolled his eyes. Was he really asking that?

"For. An. _Answer!_ Just one single word, be it "Yes" or "No"! I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me if you're avoiding going back to Heaven since _weeks_, because of me!"

"I… I think so. –But I don't _know!_", the angel added quick, making Dean sigh in frustration again.

"What do you mean, you _don't know_ if you have a thing for me? Did you never want to rip my clothes off?"

"No! Why would I want that?" For a brief moment it was again the naïf, confused, I-don't-understand-human-behaviour Castiel sitting in front of him in the snow, looking up to him with confused eyes.

Dean let himself fall down beside him and rushed with his hands through his blonde hair. "…Okay, one thing I learned today! Angels are pretty weird, but angels iin love/i are the biggest mystery in the universe!"

"I'm sorry."

"No, no you don't have to be! It's… natural. …Somehow. …For humans; I have no idea how you angels work."

"Don't you mind?"

Good question, he hadn't really had the time to think about it. Dean couldn't deny that he cared for Cas a lot. Next to Sam he was the most important person in his life. So then he shouldn't mind- or was this exactly the reason why he should?  
>"No", he finally answered. "It's… fine."<p>

The look Castiel gave him made it clear that the angel didn't believe him. And this knowledge hurt.

"Cas, come on. You're my friend, whatever happens! And I am not the right one for telling somebody whom to fall in love with- apart from the fact that love is too strange to be ruled by what others say. I mean, look at you! If it would be easy, there would be less confused people in the world!"

"But if you say you don't mind-"

"That's the truth! Yeah, it's pretty crazy, but what should I do? I mean, it's not something new for me that everyone is after me!", he joked.

"And what do you want to do now?"

"Do?"

"You say you don't mind, but I want to know if you keep thinking of me as a friend."

"Because…?"

"What if one day I would k…" Castiel's voice faded and he blushed so hard that he turned around to hide the red on his face. "What", he started again and it was much easier when he didn't have to see Dean's confused face. "if I wouldn't only like to _say_ I'm in love?"

"What? You want to go walking hand in hand?" Dean grabbed Cas' hand and the angel flinched in surprise and there was a tiny shine of panic in his eyes. Dean had all the time they knew each other been so about his "personal space" that the sudden touch sent an electrical shock through his veins. "This looks pretty weird for two guys, man!"

No, this hadn't been exactly what Castiel had meant, but oh well!

"Listen, Cas! I told you I'm fine with you being in love with me- but I don't know yet how much I am fine with being in love with you. I... try to figure it out, but try to respect that. I love you, one way or another. Okay?"  
>"Okay." He was silent for a moment, thinking,<p>

"ΜΕΡΡΖ ΨΗΡΙΣΤΜΑΣ, Dean…!"

"What was that? My ears-"

"It sounds prettier in Enochian…!" Castiel gave him a shy smile.

Dean frowned doubtful at the angel. "Prettier?", he laughed. "It sounded- Never mind!" He tried to stay serious, but couldn't prevent to grin; so he looked to the side to hide his laughing from the angel. Enochian sounded as strange as the name itself. Between his fingers Castiel's hand relaxed a bit.

"Dean?"

He heard the angel move and looked up, still grinning. "Yes-?"

Castiel was so close that Dean could count the small strains of silver in the blue eyes.

Dean didn't dare to move an inch. It was not possible that Castiel really wanted to- Not now, just- No!

But there was nothing Dean could do about it. Sure, he could push the angel away or just move away, but… he didn't want to; just a minute ago he had told Castiel that he didn't mind and now he couldn't destroy that by rejecting the angel. But on the other hand- he wasn't really sure if he wanted that. He liked that angel damn much, he cared for him and wanted him to be happy; but he wasn't sure if he could handle another supernatural kiss before he was sure that he really loved Cas; it wouldn't be fair otherwise, not for Castiel.

What happened wasn't a kiss.

Well, actually it was, but so soft and careful he almost didn't feel it, what must have been Castiel's intention. PLUS Castiel hadn't kissed him on the mouth, but on the cheek. Not even very long, only two seconds; nonetheless long enough to make his heart race. Castiel's eyes met his and through the blue Dean could see a whirlwind of emotions of a supernatural being that he had assumed to be a cold-hearted stone when they first met. A servant of Heaven after all. Someone who had raised him from Perdition and whose handprint was still burned into his shoulder. Castiel's breath hit his lips when he spoke.

"Merry Christmas, Dean."

Dean grabbed Castiel's hand tighter and gave him a slight smile.

"You, too!"

Inside the house Sam, while trying to save the last orange cookies from Gabriel, looked worried out of the window. It was hard to recognize anything in the darkness, but a soft shine of a white something reached his eyes.

"Wings." Sam turned his head to Gabriel, who was sitting beside and raised questioning an eyebrow. Both sat between sofa and fireplace, playing chess and eating Christmas sweets.

"Pretty, right? Glooming in the dark, that's why humans tend to think sometimes we are shooting stars…"

"Sounds nice."

"Oh, please!", Gabriel complained. "what is nice about being mistaken for an icy stone from space?"

"… Gabe?"

"Sammy?"

"Can…" The younger Winchester bit his lip and stopped. Speaking it out loud, made it sound stupid, but it was something that seemed to effect their lives quite heavy. "Please don't laugh at me, but do angels fall in love?"

But instead of laughing, Gabriel's eyes only widened in surprise. "Why shouldn't we?"

"So, you do? I thought… "

"Yes?" The angel lay his head in his hands and smiled interested. Sam felt a bit awkward by the look Gabriel gave him, but now there was no way of getting out of this. Better do this quick without sounding too much like a school book.

"Humans and animals fall in love -or show affection", he began. "because it has a biological sense- it's a chance for reproducing. But angels… I've never heard or read that angels reproduce. Theoretically there is no need for you to fall in love then…?"

"Hmpf, that's why I love you humans so much! You are so funny and helpless on your ways to understand the whole wide world. What you say is right, we do not reproduce and from the viewpoint of a living being on Earth you are 100% correct.

BUT! We are angels. We do not belong on Earth. We were never created to reproduce like terrestrial beings. We don't follow the path of evolution; since thousands of years we are the same."

For some reason Sam didn't dare to breathe. Gabriel's hazel eyes were hypnotizing in a way that might become dangerous one day.

"However, yes, we fall in love. It doesn't happen very often, because we already love everything. It hurts us to see a little grey fish dying, as much as see a human being killed. I love my Father's creations, and I love him and my brothers and sisters, so why love even more? …I don't know why, I can only guess; but this would go too far now. Fact is, we _do_ fall in love, even with humans. Even if it might be not a great deal- short living human and immortal angel." He smiled and his eyes sparkled when he looked right in Sam's. "Why do you ask?"

"Just… because."

"Okay. I thought maybe because you can't resist my-"

Sam jumped up in shock. "You? Never!"

"Ouch, that hurts! I demand something for hurting my feelings!"

"And what… would that be?", Sam asked carefully when Gabriel leaned closer to him.

"Well, you know…" The angel's face was only centimetres away from his own. "for the beginning…" Sam's head hit the sofa, when he tried to lean away from Gabriel. Damn it! There was no real chance to escape.

"Ehrm, Gabe?"

"…I'm fine with these cookies 3" Gabriel reached behind Sam and took the last orange cookie. "What were _you_ thinking?"

Sam couldn't prevent that his face was still red and he gasped: "Stupid angel!"

Gabriel only winked.

**-THE END**


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